PHIL GAWEN (2) "Amerika"

Codependent Lover

(All words and music by Phil Gawen)

And if I fell out of love,
Would you hate me then?
Or would you go out of your way,
And make me sound like a fool.

So, maybe that's what I'll do.
I'll turn it all around.
And make you pay for your insolence.
And make you pay the price.

‘Cause I won't be your co-dependent lover.
And I won't be the one who runs for cover.

Go, go, girl, keep on playing your games.
In the place in your heart, where I'm stuck in the rain.
You can sweet-talk me, but there's nobody home.
But you keep knock, knock, knocking on that same old door.

So, when you strip off your clothes,
And do your cat walk moves.
Is it all just for your own good,
You need for me to approve?

But I see through the mask, it's all just trash,
It's a fall from grace, in a desolate place.
You wanna play to your shame,
Leave me wanting and drained.
But I won't forsake your denial.
You don't love me anymore.



Nothing ever Changes

(All words and music by Phil Gawen)

Painting on a different look,
To make things come out right.
Glossy red lips and dark southern hair,
And a rhythm that's out of sight.

And the boys are staring with wet savage hearts,
And they're betting on a bolt that fits right.
And she's planning on winning
Over every girl's chances,
But the cost is too much for the night.

The planet turns to face the day,
And no one knows quite why.
And we keep praying,
But nothing ever changes,
And nothing ever will.
It's even more the same.
The games we act and play.
Losing himself in this moment.

The power in his eyes.
The force of his strength just like some drug,
And he can't tell you wrong from right.
And he moves like a runaway train,
Heading down to the depths of his new disguise.
Crushing her pain for a cheap thrill and a high,
Leaving ruins and desolate skies.

(Chorus)... So many violent crimes,

But the story remains the same.
Nothing ever changes round here.
Nothing ever changes.
Nothing ever changes round here.
Nothing ever will.
Nothing ever changes round here.
Make your choices, but then
No one seems to act on the tears.
What comes around goes around,
‘Comes around goes around.

His lawyer plays with a young girl's fire,
Was pulled out when she said no!
But no means yes and yes means go,
And the jury's just waiting to be snowed.

And the moral of the take is,
That the struggle for power,
Is as acceptable as any animal's prowl.
The changes you see,
Are the bruise that keeps weeping,
The dust that disguises the ground.


Don't give up on me

(All words and music by Phil Gawen,
© Gawenda/Solar )

Baby, oh maybe we can make it to the big time.
If we change our ways, with a little imagination
We could save dimes.
I'll stop drinking with the boys,
Throw away my old toys.
Get back into school,
And join the night class blues.
And maybe, oh baby,
We could finally be our own fools.

Baby, oh maybe I could make enough to work it out.
And when graduations here,
Oh baby, I could finally get a real job.
Regular wages for a man in a suit.
I’d buy you a Mercedes and invest all our loot.

Baby, oh maybe we could finally make our own rules.
All it takes is for you to say: "I believe in you,
I will help and pray".
We’ll motivate each other every night and every day,
Never hold each other down.
So baby, don't give up on me!

Baby, oh last time I let you down and you know it.
But I've changed now,
With a little bit of help,
We'll beat the bad times.

I can feel it in my bones,
I think my luck is on a roll.
The black cat hasn't crossed me,
So, don't say I'm being bold.
Baby, I'm tired of being everybody's fool.

The higher I climb, the deeper I fall.
Unless I can rid myself of feeling so small.
My ego is zero, but my heart's in the game.
I need some encouragement,
So, don't give up on me.


1000 Lights

(All words and music by Phil Gawen)

While the Christmas lit bells are ringing,
See the old and the poor that are dying there.
They can't help themselves,
They are doomed here.
Unless all of us change
What we thought was fair.

There comes a man, with a thousand lights.
He's got a plan, to reach a thousand lights.

Take a moment to think what he's saying.
That they are the right, so we must be wrong.
If we can't help ourselves, then we're helpless.
More taxes to pay for those helping hands.

So, he thinks that he knows about caring.
Like the church of the Dark Age, paying for our sins.
Wasting our work for those miracle lines.
Where are your thousand lights?

There are millions of us saying "Alright".
Let us pay you in green, so our hearts stay clean.
We are tired and confused, we are brainwashed.
Just don't tell us we're heartless human beings.

Don't you think that we know about caring?
Like the church of the New Age washing all our
Wasting their time with those miracle lines.
We are your thousand lights!



(All words and music by Phil Gawen)

I'm thinking about the world behind me.
I'm thinking about old Mexico.
Where people are poor and a few are richer than kings.
Where people are poor and the rich play god.

We’ll send our companies there.
They got cheap, cheap labor.
Won't have to pay union wages.
You think that's fair?
They're occupied with survival.
They'll pay our Fare,
And we will take our share.

I'm thinking about the Russian fallout.
I'm thinking about the old USSR.
Where people are told how they are to worry.
To worry about Amerika.

Manipulating our conscience, with propaganda,
As long as they don't invade the ground we stand on.
While our righteous keep appeasing their
New world order of: "Do or dare".

We seem to have control,
We're tight cast in a roll.
Our percentage of evil is below the norm.
But our actions aren't clear.
Where the Wizard of Oz
Behind a modern machinery
Of cold profiteers.

America, put a bag over my head.
Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours,
Whose faith is dead?
If we don't change now.
Put our mouth where our soul is.
The weight of our fear will move beyond first gear.

Si j'avais ma liberté.
Je la donnerais au monde,
Et compterais mes benedictions,
Comme des oiseaux, oiseaux, oiseaux.

I'm thinking about the world across me.
I'm thinking about old Africa.
Where people mean less with a darker color.
Where people mean less than the color of gold.

We have put out a statement of our resentment.
We have already phoned them, it's just too please.
As soon as the heat blows over,
It's back to business as usual.

I'm thinking about myself.
How I can sometimes kneel to hypocrisy.
But it's easy money.
And I cannot justify this,
Greed is without heart or soul.

America, put a bag over our heads.
Scratch our back and we'll scratch yours.
Whose faith is dead?
If we don't change now,
Put our mouth where our soul is.
The weight of our fear will move beyond first gear.



Out of it

(All words and music by Phil Gawen)

I find myself curled up in my bed.
I turn away to face the bell.
‘Cause after all, all I've done and said,
I finally put the hammer on the nail.

All the things I dreamed about.
Wake up with the usual doubts.
I go right through every wall,
And I wake up in the afterlife,
Look below to see my wife.
I go right through every door and I’m…

Floating up, I'm drifting toward the moon.
I say hello and sing a tune.
I see the lights and all the beacons to the race.
And I feel no need to chase.

Wake up in the afterlife,
Look below to see my wife.
I go right through every door and I,
All the things I dreamed about,
Wake up with the usual doubts.
I go right through every wall and I…

You might think I'm crazy,
But I beg to differ.
I can see the picture from way on high.
My vision is simple,
And I see all its meaning.
The doors are all open,
And there's no more believing.

I meet myself, a boy with many names.
He carried me life times through the rain.
He grabs my hand, and comforts all the pain.
And now I know nothing was in vain.

And now that I'm back here,
Heart beating and breathing.
I want to be more than I ever was.
Loving that feeling.
Believing to knowing.
I got to be more than I ever was.
Never was, here I am, and here I go.


All I Can Do

(All words and music by Phil Gawen)

I feel as though our souls are one.
I'll never let you go.
I hope that one day we shall run,
Like rivers, flowing on the surface.
Running through the magic.
Not a moment too fear.
My vision is clear.

Just the thought of you brings life,
To this Jack of knives.
And I'm afraid of who you are,
Since you've been lost in…

Time and time again,
I've got to realize just who I am.
Because living here without you,
Hasn't turned me blind.

Love, there are times when I can
Feel you here beside me.
And I feel like crying,
‘Cause you're so far away.

And if you want to be,
Here with me, then here I am.
No question why.
Are you and I one?

You're here in the inside,
And when I'm feeling lonely,
I talk to myself.
It's all I can do right now.
There's no one in my life.
I never even try and I keep to myself.
It's all I can do right now.

You should have never let me go.
That's when we shut our door.
But I'm reawakening like a sphinx.
With a heart of gold.

So, if you feel a part of you,
Is lost in time.
I have it right here deep within.
And I will never leave it.


Another Tide

(All words and music by Phil Gawen)

Just as I was awakening, ‘thought of the years
That passed so fast for me.
‘Turned and looked at your sleepy eyes,
And wondered if you could make it last for me.

Though I had some friends to touch and hold,
‘Could not go on, my soul and heart,
We're drifting far apart.
My ship was stranded waiting for,
Another tide, high – low.

As I slipped on your wedding ring,
Waiting for lightning to strike down on me.
Then a sip of reality,
Walking on an isle of white,
In the summer heat.

So, I had some plan, to hide and run,
I had to stay, my heart and soul were drifting,
Far apart, my ship was stranded,
Waiting for your…

Tide will come, tide will go.
Sometimes it's high, sometimes it's low.
A fragile balance, a sacred glow.
The moon will dance upon her flow.

Washing me with salty taste,
Touching me with full embrace.
I dive again, explore the deep,
Until she leaves my treasured reef.

Now, it's not the same as used to be's.
There's something changing in our heart and soul,
I cannot tear apart,
And we can always wait for,

Another tide.



The Inventor

(All words and music by Phil Gawen)

This man comes to make it better,
Does anyone understand?
And he can't change this nasty weather,
If we don't lend a hand.

There's a power in his head,
And the will to succeed.
And his numbers keep on making sense.
But no one believes.

With his magnets and his dynamos,
Roll - rolling, he keeps rocking their boats.
While our government's been telling him
to go blow,
He’s keeping on the same road.

Energy and matter.
You put in what you get out.
I say anything is possible,
While they believe in their doubts.

Nuclear empathy, go home.
Somebody's cut your time.
This man is challenging your slow mo.
'Cause your profit is your bottom line.

We are the people, at the mercy of your kind.
And we won't take no for an answer,
While our government's behind.
'Cause the time is now and now's the time
To build a healthy future.


Back to Back

(All words and music by Phil Gawen/Itzel Garcia)

You can turn it all around.
You can keep on putting me down,
If you like, you can chew me up.
You can hurt me, I'll make no sound.

Hurry up and get it over with.
Work it out, oh I'm used to it.
Threats and ultimatums and living hells.
Keep it up, ‘cause I'm used to it.

I'm so tired of all the fuss.
But my way out, has turned to rust.
No more talking back.
Sealed lips, cat in the sack.

You're pushing it, I'm moving out,
Against the clock, I'm waiting out time,
You're throwing words, I'm counting all the seconds,
You're throwing rocks, I'll send them back in your face.

You're waiting for, I'm moving out,
A new attack, I'm waiting out time,
You're fighting it, I'm counting all the seconds,
Back to back, I'll send them back in your face.

Now I'm changing up.
No more second chance.
No one wins the cup.
Victory, who's last to laugh.

Pick me up. Are you faking it?
Pick me up, or lose it all.
Night and day delusions,
And living hells.
Pick me up or lose it all.



Zombie Love

(All words and music by Phil Gawen)

Down on a place called Earth,
Under a soft white cloud.
Under a roof called home,
There was a heart that yearned.

He had a purpose in life.
To keep himself alive.
But when he fell in love,
It was as though he died.

See you in there, still breathing, and talking.
Crying tears for no one.
Without sleep, food or reason,
Alcohol to preserve him.
What is love like, with a stone cold heart?

She was a voodoo priestess,
In another life.
She would invest in souls,
And lead an easy life.
She never met her match.
She lived to eat her catch.
A little kiss of white powder,
Would turn her love into trash.

She leaves them, still breathing and talking,
Crying tears for no one.
Without sleep, food, or reason,
Alcohol to preserve them.

As darkness falls, he calls out for pity,
And so life-like, as her spell goes to work
To enslave him to act on her will.
Another zombie lover.
And he's a servant without heart.
He's the undead, waiting for her in hell.


Black Magic

(All words and music by Phil Gawen,
© Gawenda/Solar )

Soft skin, fingers touching you,
Embracing, heart beat faster.
Now without you, now is forever.

Even in my dreams, I can't get close.
My heart is warm, it's yours that froze.

All her hair in motion.
A Guinevere to champion,
Winner take it all.
And I can clearly see
The pieces in the puzzle.

I should have understood and walked away.
Until I find that strength,

This feeling is here to stay.
Leaving no room to play.
It colored my sky all gray.
So, I used black magic.
Invisible strings, pulling you
Back to me. She's all mine now.
When will has its way,
There's a price you must pay.

Soft skin, fingers strangling me,
Heart stops. Am I dead yet?
Now without you, now is forever.

Even in your dreams you can't get close.
Your heart is warm, it's mine that froze.


World of Pain

(All words and music by Phil Gawen)

I didn't know you had so many troubles.
I didn't think about you that way.
Now that you told me, I can understand you.
I can't make promises, but this I'll say.

You're living in a world of pain.
Living in a world of pain and sorrow.
You feel that your life is vain,
And you're not to blame.

It seems to start when we are young and brittle.
Small architects building on our own mistakes.
Sometimes our keeper sees a chance to meddle.
Foundations end up missing even shapes.

So, you grow up in a world of pain.
Stuck up in a world of pain and sorrow.
You feel that your life is vain,
And you need to change.

Your head is full of present and past,
So fulfill the task.
We're going to dig up all those dirty rats,
And turn them right back into cats.
Traumas unmasked.

Thinking back on all those evil lies.
Truth is hidden somewhere in disguises.
And when you find them, you must answer them,
With warm emotion.

‘Cause your head is full of present and past,
And you want to last.
We're going to dig up all those dirty rats,
And watch 'em all get caught in traps.
Traumas unmasked.

There was a person who longed to hold you.
He didn't know how, so he used a cane.
Another's hands would wander deep inside you,
Starting a fire of black heart shame.

And the rain always comes down easy,
When you keep pouring salt on your clouds.
It's time to accept all those horrors.
We long to see your love aroused.