PHIL GAWEN (7) "The Crime Of Fear"

Fear

(All words and music by
© Phil Gawen)

A change would be welcome now.
An end to these hating crowds.
This chess game for the damned,
And weaker species.
Who’d rather use their brothers?
To fight their useless wars,
To stand the torture, to stand and fall.
('Said you wanted no more)

Dangerous in my belief,
To think you wanted more.
Blaming gods, for hell on earth.
Take your vengeance to the core.
‘Well it's not what I’d call politics,
Rather infectious diseases.
No one wants to turn the other cheek,
When the first one's ripped to pieces.

And greed just spreads violence,
And self-pity too.
Also, a closed, shut mind to the odd.
And you, who complain and shed your tears,
At the sight of your pray TV screens.
You can give all your money,
And pay your taxes,
Which helped build those fascist regimes.
But you made up your mind,
That you just can't be bothered,
Until the day comes, grabbing you from behind.

Dangerous, in my belief,
The hierarchy of power.
Born at the top, keep the people down,
And there's no way on earth to climb it.

Importing western corporate,
And deter any chance to block it,
While the up in the third world's going strong,
There ain't much left in my pocket.

 

Flyboy (Save the World)

(Words and music by Phil Gawen,
© Gawenda/Solar)

Well, he was just a boy in revelry.
He had a little plane to fly on East.
He had that look in his eyes,
The one to save the world.

And I remember the day I felt so proud.
He made it straight from Sweden to Moscow.
He had a heart to mend,
The one to save the world.

And he would land on Red Square.
Something no one would dare.
Handing out his leaflets.
Shake the hands of this heavenly angel.
Shaking hands as they gathered in numbers.
Shaking hands with his cards on the table.

The secret police dragged him off,
To interrogate their own mistake,
Forgetting what he sacrificed, non-violence.

Some politicians said: “How stupid”.
How he disturbed a delicate situation.
How the West and East
Are trying to save the world.

I don't believe they had his passion.
Cause if they did, we’d face salvation.
No, and I don't believe they're
Out to save the world.
(Chorus)
Do you care to match yourself?
Against the point he tried to make.
And does it touch you in any way at all.

A boy faces and ideology.
The consequences strangle liberty.
Ooh, make him a hero for peace.
Oh, give him a pat on the back.

Nobody saved the world.
Am I to save the world?

Boats

(All words and music ©Phil Gawen)

One day I took my boat out, on a sea of hope,
So the abyss of my mind,
Would lead me far from home.
Sky above and sea below,
So free at once, and incomplete was I,
All of me, so alone.


So I jumped, swimming in the water.
Swimming round and round my boat.
Thought I was a fish.
And I always returned.
Drying off the water.
Sitting in my lonely boat,
Never quite a man.

One day out, on the sea of love.
The light of you so holy,
Breaking through my eyes.
Sky above and see below,
So free at once and incomplete where you,
All of you, so alone.

This was the time,
When we'd meet each other halfway.
We were sharing all our secrets,
And talking ‘bout our fears.
We are the lost ones,
And through each other found.
And lost again and found again,
Afraid to climb into each other's boat.

One day we'd find each other, on solid ground.
And build a boat together,
While you and I face the storms of life.
So hard to believe,
Two hearts could beat as one,
As I believe that you and I could sail together.

But then I jumped, into my confusion.
Swimming all around my brain,
Like some therapist.
I never returned.
Going back to my old self.
Clinging to security,
Never quite cured.

So we jumped, into our illusions.
Swimming all around our brains,
Like a therapist. And then we returned.
Going back to our old selves.
Clinging to security.  Never quite cured.

 

Clockwork

(All words and music © Phil Gawen)

Waiting for the slow hand to turn
Round, round, round, round.
Waiting for the Clockwork to break
Down, down, down, down.

You're waking up to silence,
As you struggle with a new point of view.
Turn me on to your groove,
‘Don't enjoy playing the part of a mule.

You're kicking back, you're danger.
As I'm tumbling back to the wall.
I'm reaching out to love you,
As your knuckles send me back to the floor.

Just a mime, smirking smiles,
And a joke for the sake of denial.
If it makes any sense at all,
Send you a brass for the fall,
Of the wall you have built for this trial.

I got no more time for wasting.
I feel silly standing hurt and abused.
I’d brighten up, if I knew,
That for sure, you'd stop acting to confuse.

I’m kicking back, I’m danger,
As you’re tumbling back to the wall.
I'll be reaching out, to hold you,
While my knuckles send you back to the floor.

I'm sick of your pretending.
It's a no-win scenario I know.
Shake it up, I dare say.
You'll find yourself awake in the cold.

Ooh la, la, la, I'm not up for forgiving.
‘Cause I know you'll be back with your ammunition pack,
And your bang, bang, Maxwell silver bat.
Ooh la, la, la, you're holding up my river.
And I can't roll my boat upstream,
And we cannot row together.

Ooh la, la, la, I'm not up for forgiving.
And I guess I'll make one more excuse to oblige you.
But I don't think I can revive you.
Ooh la, la, la, I want to be the living.
And though you may say you meant well,
I don't believe you.
One more chance, so take it or leave it.
“Sont les mots qui vont très bien ensemble”.

Fool Moon

(Words and music by © Gawenda/Solar)

Friday night and his head's on tight.
She's out of sight, he takes it light,
And asks her on a date.
Through the telephone, the voice he hears
It comes easy, so pleasing.
With a breather, she's a teaser,
‘Just another one of those.

His friends, they said she'd be so nice.
Easy on sugar and heavy on spice.
When he turned to kiss her,
He saw the moon in her eyes.
Her brilliance was far enough to hypnotize. 

Fool moon, she slapped him in the face.
‘Shook the stars from his eyes, such a big disgrace.
A feeling arose, to his head from his toes.
Could this be love,
Or just another one of those.
 
It's no big deal, ‘cause everybody knows.
With a woman like her, well, that's just the way it goes.
Fi, fi, foe, see the moon how it glows.
Try another angle, get entangled, whoa, oh, oh.

A sleeping potion, into a drink.
He felt the passion on the brink.
Gently moving her dress undo.
It activates his conscience,
And registers taboo.

Fool moon, she's waking from a daze.
Her eyes begin a reeling,
As he sits and fights his feelings.
A tingling arose from her head to her toes.
Could this be love,
Or just another one of those. 
It's love, it's love, and that's the way it goes.

 

Lost Yourself

(All words and music by © Phil Gawen)

So you found yourself at some dead end in life.
And you're waiting there, sitting on a spot,
Like a pointless rock.

You may find yourself,
In some old unemployment place of…
Nervous lines of mad men,
Women without any hope of…
The world is falling down on you.
This place of hope is hopeless.

Running in circles, kids on the floor.
Slap'em down when they scream,
Like some midday nightmare.
Shortage of pencils, jumping the line.
Neurotica settles the state of the mind.

Fill out the papers, colorless forms.
Don't expect any smiles,
From some faceless clerk.
Nobody cares here, everyone wears their
Face of pity.

Son is home from school.
Without will so effortless he…
Wants to find a job,
And can the golden rules you showed him.
His mother's on her knees and tears in eyes,
Another day of waiting for pride,
And forge some wholly, holy place of…

Praying for mercy, praying for love.
Hands on the bottle and heart in the booze.
Pick up a check, while you're comfortably numb.
You may not have pride, but you're less confused.

So, you found yourself,
At some dead end in life,
And you don't know how,
To make those ends meet right.
 
Caught in a rut of constant denial.
Blackout stages for the devil inside.
One day you'll wake up, battling truth,
Losing everything and the ones you love.

You wanted to be true to you.
You want to be responsible.
You think there’s nothing left to do.
 
You may not care now,
This country's got you taken care of.
And you may justify it,
Righteously with facts all made up.
Lies to yourself,
And all the people you are so afraid of.

 

Witches Ball

(All words and music by Phil Gawen,
© Gawenda/Solar)

No luck at all. I've got no one to call.
There is no one to help.
This secret is chocolate and warm hands.

And I'll be over this bridge,
When I catch the power,
To be a liar, or honesty's fire.
I will hurt somebody.
Surely, kill the party,
In the white snow,
Of the infamous witches ball.

It's you in the corner,
Playing with magnets and martyrs.
But it's my steel heart,
And my own illusions.

The lines in my hand,
Are not what matter.
It's the sweat in my palms,
And my broken ladder.

And the eyes of an owl.
Finger on trigger.
Water and Bridge.
She has what matters.

You're contagious, you're incurable.
‘Body’s weak, and I feel like catching it.
Sand is sinking, waving goodbye girl.
Moment's kill, will it break the spell I'm in.

 

Lovers we don't love!

 

Opal Dreams

(All words and music by © Phil Gawen)

The day when we first met with our eyes,
We made a fire and burnt are disguises.
When the warm front left me behind,
You had to fly.

With a shovel and pick and a one hand stick,
These opal mines are burning.
All the sweat I've dropped,
Left me puddles of mud,
And I can't see my life turning.
In the long run, I can see my doubts
Get the best of me.

I am here, you are there,
The words I have written to you can't compare,
Can't describe, the bare shell my heart is in.
 
Do we ever forget who we are?
It seems we haven't made it too far, no.
We’ll be wrapped up in our coup d'etat,
Of a world that's just another star.

Nowhere is home, but in your heart,
And your heart,
Does it race the clock
When it hears my name?
Cause when I read yours it does the same.

And though I am lone here,
I still have my senses.
I treat them with kid gloves,
Protecting my white dove.
I keep on pretending there's more love
Than meaning in life.

I see my home fire burning,
I see the ship, I see my girl.
It keeps my heart from turning,
Never give up, never give up, never!
 

Fine Times

(All words and music by © Phil Gawen)

There was an echoing voice of a people.
From the step lands to the desert sands.
Big clouds, empty-handed,
As the forest shrank under tropic skies.
Left nothing but the big plows.
In the salty bowls of a starving hound,
Disease and poverty.

It was a fine time for the far from innocent.
It was a fine time for the monetary schools.
It was the best of times for a production boom,
And a fine time for exporting arms.

It was a fine time to behave like machines.
It was a fine time to abandon dreams.
It was a fine time to accept the unacceptable.
Best of times.

It was a fine time to walk in a straight line.
Best of times for people just like you and me.
The best of times, for soldiers in their body bags.
The best of times.

From the big wheels came bigger lies.
Corporate mergers and buyout fights.
With their hearts in acquiring came power and thirst,
At a time when every human had a price on Earth.

In the midst of chaos everywhere,
There was misinformation and censorship
Over western skies.
Isolation and ignorance, of who could win,
And who would lose.
A plug-in life-style safe and clean.
(Chorus)

A time of abundance, food for every mouth.
A time for starvation, time for a prayer.
A time for their fury, a time for their fire.
A time for employing their hit men for hire.

A time for pollution, a time for no return.
A time for a smoke and a strange goodbye.
A time for a sigh and a cynical joke.
A time for their hate and the end of hope
Those were fine times.

Worst of times!

 

Gone Away

(All words and music by © Phil Gawen)

I feel your heart, I feel it beating,
Sinking in my head, in my bed, cannot share.
We'd make a pair, no good - no evil.
I could not justify the act.
I put on straight “Jacquet”, and I,
Wonder why, there's a fact.
A simple memory of her.

Had to turn around, I'm a pillar of salt
For the last time.
‘Can't get enough of losing,
All that I wanted.
I don't believe it, but there's no sign of life.
I guess it's just the way the world was headed.

Memories life like, I like you.
Are you the ones who broke my heart in two?
Memories life like, no one quite like you,
I will find, you might find me too.

I'm out of sight, I'm out of touch.
I always gave into a crutch.
Take me now, please take me.
Better now than never ever again.

I fear my belly wasn't made,
To stand an eternity in a place of mazes.
She got her chance, and took it
So far away from here.

But I, I want to make it easy.
I could fake it, but it turns into hard times.
I've had enough of losing,
All that I wanted.

I painted pictures in my head,
Filled with colorful regret.
I guess it's just the way your world was headed.

 

War

(All words and music by © Phil Gawen)

Get set, ready to go,
I got my show face on
And I'm heading for the console. War!

That CEO has got me wrapped around his fingers,
New Weaponry for just a billion more,
With less boots on the ground.
All wrapped in supermodel, sexy devastation.
The Pentagon's requesting Senate approval time.

The ceilings falling, but they're raising it higher than,
100 billion, with interest that never ends.
They've justified it, and patriots step aside.
It's all or nothing, call of duty trumps all dissenters.

Yes-go no-go, stepping on the big toe.
Slow-mo, no more, open up the big door.
Step into the limelight, ready for the big fight.
Roll it out, turn it on, ready for a fright night.

I was elected by the people for the people.
Constituents have hijacked me,
For their future scruples.
I lobby for them as I reach into their pockets.
Their enemies are entirely in their heads.

The tech is ready and we're testing it in real-time now.
It's now or never, all Senators voted aye!
It's for your future, to nurture their blatant lies.
Just Armageddon, and all with plausible denial.

Tic-tac-toe, now for Uncle Sam's big blow.
Hit 'em like a rodeo, welcome to the big show.
Television, live transmission, quick commercial,
Back to mission, War!

It does not get any stranger than this.
War! Can't escape it, just embrace it. War!

 

Angel Heart

(All words and music by © Phil Gawen)

The serpent is listening,
He's watching every move I make.
I feel his fire,
I try to run, but I am tied to fate.

And I know I can't go on like this.
Every single night and day.
And if I should pray to you, today,
Will I find strength in this old heart?
Angel heart.

Must’ve forgotten some deadly sin,
I can't recall.
With every step I just trip and fall
And then I think I'll never roll the ball.

I went through every day of my life.
All of those years, every day, every hour.
It's a catch-22, with a lime and a twist.
And he's a one-eyed pessimist,
Making my life a mess.
‘Don't want to bump into a bite so venomous.
(Chorus)

The serpent is listening,
He's watching every move I make.
He must’ve got a million souls.
He won't stop ‘till he’s signed the human race.

I've got an Angel Heart.