PHIL GAWEN (1) "Smoking in the Girl's Room"

Tears

(All words and music by Gawenda/Solar)

Tears are not for me,
You get all wet from worrying.
Tears don't get you far.
They leave you weak, can't reach the stars.

In a moment, I will lose you,
As I stand firm to confuse you.
In a lifetime, doesn't matter.
All the lessons, that I gathered.

You can do this, you can do that,
And everything your heart desires.
But you must understand the consequences.
Play with fire, and you'll leave them burned.

Tears are not for me.
I close my eyes to suffering.
Tears, they leave their mark.
They leave you blind, without the dark.

In the morning, without warning,
I will see you for the last time.
‘Had a dream that, I was younger.
Getting older, growing colder.

 

Show me the Way

(All words and music by Gawenda/Solar)

Is there something happening?
Is there something I can do?
Even if it's really nothing.
Something there might put me through.

Waiting for a message.
Waiting for an "I love you".
Send me something to encourage,
All the words I say to you.

And when the light turns to dark,
From dark to light.
A fire’s burning, and the wind won't stop.
Feeling sorrow, then so happy.
Mixed emotions, make your resolutions.
But you just can't start, just can't start, no.

Got two tickets to a show.
And I won't go, if you can't go.
‘Just can't seem to touch the phone.
I panic when I hear the tone.

I feel in my heart such insecurity,
And a trace of doubt.
Somewhere to start, a bridge for honesty.
Can't live without…

I focus my mind on a simple question.
And it grows so large, it's suffocating.
Feeling happy, follow sorrow.
Mixed emotions, make your resolutions.
But I just can't start, just can't start…no.
Please show me the way.

 

Crisis

(All words and music by Phil Gawen,
© Gawenda/Solar )

My conscience is weary. Am I deaf dumb and blind?
Am I only acting through a bottle of wine?
‘Got feelings and tentions. Am I way out of line?
I find myself hunting, it's a secret of mine.

And I don't know her, but she's got what I'll take,
And she'll be all mine.
She's just a one-night stander
And I know how to handle her.
Mother and kids are just hanging on.

And I work late nights, my phone's off the hook.
My office is empty, and no one will look.
I've got dreams and desires, my fear is like fire.
I light up my night life, with some dollars for hire.

I'm getting older, the fast lane is slowing down.
She says I'm colder, my heartbeat going up, up
And never down.

And I feel as though, I'm just a wheel in a machine.
Going round in a devil’s, devil’s circle.
Getting boring, from 9 to 5.
Don't see the light or a horizon.
The past of youth is gone.
Oh bring them back again,
Those times so wild and free,
Laughing in me.

And you froze on me. Why, you just run and hide.
She can't be unkind, my wife is acting fine.
I don't understand her, ‘don't even like her.
But she's all mine.
She's just a one-life stander, the kids are the litter.
Mother and kids are just hanging on.

 

Goodbye Song

(All words and music by Phil Gawen,
© Gawenda/Solar )

Sweet love, oh honey comb,
Dripping down from our eyes,
Is the key to any heart,
That pleads the same.

The tears that fell as though in vain.
That feeling's never mutual.
It isn't a game when the hatch
Falls on one of us.

I'm sorry, it'll never ever happen again.
So many times, I need you,
When I can't even feed you.
It doesn't make sense, you don't need me.
But as much as one prays, it's gone.

Got a head full of memories,
And dreams unfulfilled.
It just ain't fair, if you're playing a game,
One's not to blame.

One can still feel the energy of closeness
When there's no one there.
Why did it leave, the reason’s clear my love.

Goodbye my love,
I leave you all the pain,
My doors are brittle,
So, don't use that chisel.
It's making me go insane.
So, you hate me now,
You think it's a blame game.

Goodbye my dove,
It never could’ve been in vain.
All those tears made rusted locks.
Don't think they'll ever open again, no
They'll stay locked up in chains.

So long, so long.

 

Learn to be a Friend

(All words and music by Phil Gawen)

I was undecided, my heart was all divided.
Until you called me on the phone,
To say you were alone, I was so delighted.

Time passed by so fast, ‘made me wonder,
Why we did not last.
All those days we spent together,
Laughing with each other.
We didn't last forever.

A couple made in heaven.
Two and friends made seven.
And now we realize,
What we did to close our eyes,
‘Forgot the friendship.
And now we're starting…

Learn to be a friend.
We've got all our lives ahead of us,
Learn to leave behind the fuss.
Learn to be a friend,
We've got all the time ahead of us.
No one knows us more than us.

If we get together, late-night-show, whatever.
Just sitting close to you, is what I want to do.
Falling to temptation, ‘could be difficult to fight.
But if we want it all to work out,
We shouldn't listen to our doubts.
We can make it right.
We can make it.

Learn to be a friend.

 

Sweet Pollyanne

(All words and music by Gawenda/Solar)

Sweet Pollyanne, where have you been?
All of my life I've been waiting for someone,
To show me the way to love,
And I'm glad it's you.

Sweet Pollyanne, tell me true.
Is it me and you and do I mean that much to you
To make you cry?

Sweet Pollyanne, where do I stand with you?
I need to know.
You tell me everything's alright.
You're going to let me see you tonight.

To hold me, to touch me, to love me,
Love me, love me.
To feel you, to kiss you, to love you,
Love you, love you.

Sweet Pollyanne, the clock strikes ten.
You dream of secret lovers.
Hidden moments, words unspoken,
And longing hearts.

Sweet Pollyanne, the pebbles fly.
Your window opens up my world.
I climb into your life,
And make you mine.

Sweet Pollyanne, the clock strikes one.
You and I are wrapped so
Deep inside each other.
Now, were free to run.

 

 

 

Alone Anymore

(All words and music by Phil Gawen,
© Gawenda/Solar)

I remember the day I first saw you,
Talking freak circumstances.
I stuck to you like a leaf on a tomato tree.
Never left much for chances.

Take a look at me now.
‘Thought you had changed my life.
But something told me somehow.
She's in for the kill, and no one's immortal.

I don’t want to say goodbye to you now.
Talk through the wire, no more glances.
I don't want to be away from you now.
When all that we've been, all those chances.

You said I'd never be what I wanted to.
I stuck to you like a dreamer.
You put me down every chance,
You had an attitude. I was a solid believer.

Take a look at me now.
I'm stripped from promised love.
And something's telling me somehow somewhere.
This road ended, here and nowhere.

Now that you've gone, I found my way out.
I'm out of love, beyond any doubt.
Got to be strong, find someone new.
You know it ain't wrong. Do what you…

Having a friend, who's grown to be the heart in you.
Never give in, when sharing feels like deadly sin.

But I don't want to say goodbye to you now.
All that we've been, all those chances.
I don't want to be away from you now.
Talk through the wire, no more glances.

Downer, oh what a downer.

I work day in and day out,
Black and white keys, making melodies.
And as long as I play, ‘won't forget thee.
And you'll be on my mind,
Waiting for a lovesick crime.

Suddenly, I'm afraid of the solitude.
Certainly, I'd be lonely.
All the kicks I can get, from realizing that,
Hey. I am your one and only.

So, I don't want to say goodbye to you now.
Cut through the wire, no more glances.
I don't want to be away from you now.
I believe in, having you close again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Metamorphosis

(All words and music by Gawenda/Solar)

Oh, oh, oh, when you call from my name.
I feel tingling through my body,
Then comes nothing but pain.
Oh, oh, oh, then my heart breaks apart.
Slips down to my tummy where the butterflies start.

Ooh I get excited, I don't know where to hide it.
I feel a metamorphosis is coming my way,
And I change. All my innuendos arrive.

So, you wonder, why I swallow my tongue.
It is my usual reaction, when I see you I run.
But oh no, you misunderstand.
I don't know what I’m saying,
I'd rather walk hand-in-hand.

He's a boy who didn't grow up at 17.
Consequently he is living in all his dreams.
He's a frog in a scene without a true love kiss.
It's his destiny to harbor a love that's bliss.

Oh deo, and he looks like such an oddity.
Oh deo, he's no match for your amazing beauty.
Don't say no, that you'll take him just the way that he is.
‘Cause he'll change, so strange, so deranged.

 

A new feeling (Celina)


(All words and music by Phil Gawen,
© Gawenda/Solar)

I saw the elegance in your pink and red cheeks.
My eyes opened wide, as my heart skipped a beat.
I made it so obvious, my shots could not miss.
I figured you'd smile, it was the least I expected.

A new feeling and a constant pain.
I know what's wrong, but I know what is right.
Long brown hair and crystal eyes,
And a beauty of a body, put my breath on ice.

I want to tell you straight in the face,
That I like you, but I have to stay some paces behind.
Why? ‘Cause I'm shy.
And I don't know any better, I'm always afraid.

I’d take you to the movies, you'd be home on time.
We'll hold hands in the evening,
And wait for a sign.

We'd laugh and make small talk,
Kindness in kind.
And when we knew each other better,
We would kiss and drink wine.

Friends are pushing me to talk to her.
Just a friendly conversation, wouldn't hurt you to try.
But I fear, that I might trip on my lines.
Take a perfect situation and run out of time.

Round and round and round we go.
Must have left my courage behind.
Run aground, lost and found.
Trapped inside a merry-go-round.

‘Cause there she sits upon her chair,
With an empty one beside her for me.
Must I remain, sending telepathic messages?

I want to tell you straight in the face,
That I like you, but I have to stay some paces behind.
Why, ‘cause I'm shy.
And I don't know any better,
‘Cause I'm just some guy.

 

 

Emotions in Glass


(All words and music by Phil Gawen,
© Gawenda/Solar )

Charlatans and make believes,
May keep you in the dark.
As long as they know all the tricks,
They can never miss, throwing darts.

But my hands weak, with occasional hit,
Will it ever satisfy?
I'm sorry to say, the reason is this:
That my love is more than bliss.

All I know is deep inside, I love you!
And I wanted, I needed.
I was looking for resolution.
I wanted, I needed.
I was waiting for love returned.
I wanted, I needed emotions in glass,
Smashed to pieces.

I am giving everything except,
For one thing I can give.
Think I tried too hard to please your world.
Physical love turned to myth.

With my hands weak, and occasional spill.
Will it ever satisfy?
And I'm sorry to say, the reason is this:
That my love has more than missed.

Don't be late, ‘cause you're behind.
And this rut invades my mind.
You can't wait, nor can I,
And it drives us crazy.
And I'm to blame, makes me cry,
And I need that helping hand…

Me your confidence, hypnotize my pride.
When I wake up,
I will, fulfill that one desire.
‘Cause I want it too.
I need it more than life.
I'll meet you in heaven,
When I want that ecstasy.

 

New Song

(All words and music by Phil Gawen,
© Gawenda/Solar )

I'm looking for a new hook,
Searching through the corner of my eye,
‘Making time to fly.
Something to send chills down my spine,
And I'm breaking all the rules,
Restless and confused.

So many choices, I must choose.
Narrow it down to joy or blues.
I could always make it up.

I need an emotion that is real.
I need to make both ends touch and feel.
Bring it to life and call it a new song.
Oh it's time to get to work.

Sometimes like a freight train.
I get so mad and ugly,
I'm out to kill the judge and jury.
Suddenly I feel love,
I catch a sweet twist.
I've heard it million times before.

I need an emotion that will kneel.
If not I will break down and steal.
I'd pay any price to see you,

Wake up to a new song,
Born of someone's mind,
A brand new victory.
Hearts will mend and hearts will break,
A miracle in all its Glory.

I must take you to a world of understanding.
Familiar places, where our battles seek and ending.
Pieces come together filling shapes and forms,
They're yours to choose, oh much more than this,
So don't wear out your shoes.

I need some inspiration,
My senses working overtime.
Waiting to turn on the light in me.
And half the time it's no use.
But when it is it can be dangerous.
Turn off the light in me.

There's a song of hope,
There's a song with a rope,
There's a song about giving up,
There's a song full of hope,
There's a song for the cynical,
There's a song for the pitiful,
There's a song for the deaf,
There's a song for the dumb and blind,
Ya, ya, ya!

Let me touch your heart from morning to evening.
Let me help to stop your soul from yearning and grieving.

Oh then maybe, it will climb the golden ladder.
In time, it hasn't been lately.
But there's a time and place for every break.

And when it does, as sure as gold.
Everyone be tired of that old song.
Oh, a fall from grace.
A song to be replaced!